THE GREEK WEDDING TRADITIONS

Part 2/2

 

What Happens During the Wedding Ceremony

There are some common rituals in almost every wedding I've been called to immortalise. For example:

The stefana, which may have flower embroideries, are linked with a ribbon that symbolises the union of two people into a married couple and are placed on a table in front of the bridegroom, along with the Bible, the wine and the rings.

The koumparos or koumpara exchanges the rings three times and swaps the stefana three times, before he places them on the couple's heads. This is a physical demonstration of their spiritual bonding (the couple and koumparos).

When the priest reads the primary of the wedding blessings, he joins their right hands. Then he does the stefana blessing, he reads the Gospel of Wedding in Cana (Jesus' first miracle), he pours wine into a single cup or glass and gives the couple to take three sips each from it. The bridegroom drinking from a single glass symbolises the shared life and experiences they commit to living together. 

 

 

Then, comes the “Isaias dance”. It's the part of the wedding rite where the priest leads the couple to their first walk together around the table. Priest also asks the koumparos or koumpara to follow the couple while holding the ribbon of the stefana. At this time of the "Isaias dance" some hit the groom on his back, although many priests don't like to be interrupted during this moment.

When the priest removes the stefana from the couple's heads, he says “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).” This means that no one should try to split apart those two people.

In many parts of Greece, the couple exits the church after they give their koumparos or koumpara a gift.

Once the couple exits the church, the guests await with a handful of rice and rose petals that they throw to the married couple. Given that rice is linked to fertility (like all other seeds), the couple is wished for wealth! Also, rice (called “gamopilafo”, meaning wedding rice) is often the first meal been offered at the wedding dinner. This is particularly common in weddings taking place in villages and islands.

After the wedding ceremony, guests congratulate the happy couple and are then given a bomboniera usually along with a small wedding favour.

In many areas of Greece guests are still pin money on the couple after the ceremony when they wish them "na zisete!".

 

 

Stepping Foot!

There is a line in the wedding missal that calls the husband to love his wife as himself and the wife to respect her husband. In weddings in Greek, the phrase "Η δε γυνή να φοβείται τον άντρα" has the word "φοβείται" that translates to “fear” so it's humourously perceived as “the woman shall fear her husband”. In Greece when the cantor reads that phrase, everybody present has their eyes on the bride's feet because it's often customary for her to step her right foot over the groom's left one (just slightly) to show that she's not afraid of him! Stepping on the groom’s foot was once a widespread prank-like thing many brides would do to show the world that they did not fear their husbands. The key word here is “show”.

Who hasn’t seen at least once in their lifetime the classic Greek movie “Η δε γυνή να φοβείται τον άντρα” starring M.Kontou and G.Konstantinou, where the bride Eleni steps on Antonakis foot during the much-awaited wedding ceremony! Can you recall the mess this caused? The offended groom’s look at that precise moment was worth a million pounds! He could just not wait to get into the cab to rush back home and pack his bags because of the shameful thing his new spouse did in front of all these people!

Others claim that these foot-stepping endeavours are a demonstration of the bride’s superiority – that she will have the upper hand in their marriage. However, Greek Orthodox priests explain that this “ritual” is, actually, a misinterpretation of the Bible’s scriptures. In the Apostolos Pavlos passage that is read during a Greek Orthodox wedding service, the word “fear” is another word for “respect”. It means to honour the spouse; rather than being afraid of him. See the confusion here?

Many mothers of the brides took this passage literally and insisted on their daughter stepping foot on her groom when the priest reads this specific passage. Most of the time, it is something to laugh with. There are many similar traditions across Greece. For example, Tsakones (in eastern Peloponnese) as the family of the bride (petheri) would throw water onto the groom and sing songs saying how the bride-to-be now has him (the groom) wrapped around her finger!

On the flip side of the coin, there are also instances when the groom removes his foot to avoid being stepped on and turn the laugh on his bride’s failed attempt (or his fast reflexes)! Also, I have seen many times grooms taking action first and stepping onto their bride’s foot before she even had time to move! The Orthodox Church does not agree with either, of course, and advises the couple that has decided to walk a shared life with love, mutual understanding, and compassion to focus on asking for divine guidance for this new start.

 

 

The Celebration

Last but not least, the wedding celebration and dinner, like almost everything in Greece, is loud – really loud! If you have seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding movies, then you know what I'm talking about! There is so much joy and enthusiasm in the air that the Greeks express through singing, dancing, and speaking loudly! It's amazing how the Greeks can dance in circles for hours non-stop. The bride and groom dance first, followed by their parents and closest relatives, who, by turns, lead the dance. At some weddings, the groom's parents and relatives start the first dance with the bridegroom. The second dance is for the bride's parents and their relatives. Again, the koumparos or koumpara are important figures as they get to join the dance, no matter who leads it!
 
 

 
 
The food differs from area to area since each part of Greece has its unique style of cooking. What's common, though, is that meat is served in big portions followed by local cuisine dishes.

Each area also has its representative folk music. The most popular are dimotika wedding songs such as tsamika, ipirotika (Epirus), thrakiotika (Thrace), zeimpekika, kalamatiana, kritika (Crete) and nisiotika (Islands) like the most beloved "Tou Gamou" especially of Giannis Parios' performance.

On Greek-Cypriot weddings, there is a dance for the couple called “Money Dance”. This is because while the bridegroom dance to traditional music with a napkin in their hands, guests come and pin money on their clothes. Some couples might still celebrate with this dance, which is also a way of gathering the customary wedding gifts of cash.

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From all around Greece

 

The aftermath

There are many Greek wedding traditions, customs and rituals that are followed even nowadays with the most important and common ones outlined above. However, there are hundreds more that are not so well known as they come from small islands or villages and the only way to get to know them is to be part of one of those deeply traditional weddings in Greece!

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